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Submitted on
December 12, 2012
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If words could be like birds
Flitting from flower to flower
Honeyed promises
       would drip
               from your lips
And soothe the aching of my soul.
Sweetened vows
like the bird of paradise,
tropical, exotic,
beauty and brilliance
Are duplicitous;
Empty,
holding no more value than to smooth
the ruffled feathers.
Words that are
Estranged from the flight of
       Gestures,
               voice and
                       emotion
can be deceptive.
Nothing but a spectacular display
Of the plumage of charisma and intelligence
Meant only for the courtship dance
And so moults once the chase is over.
...
...
...
If only my love I could pledge
By deeds instead of words.
I need more practise writing poems. So here you go!
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:iconjtcheney:
This poem has many elements that I appreciate: The imagery used in this is utterly phenomenal. Great use of simile to help paint a colorful picture. You have a gift in your imagery.
The actual message of the poem is strong. The way you step your words out from "Gestures, voice, and emotion can be deceptive seems like it throws off the beat a bit, but it actually works here because it throws the flow to a stop and changes the work and moves the reader into another direction.

Indeed my friend, if love could be pledged by deed instead, then pale and fleeting words would nary compare to the luster and brightness of a love more true.

Thanks for sharing. Your style is creative, and I'm glad I took the time to analyze it deeper.
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:iconkamisch42:
kamisch42 Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Seems like you have them under control to me :) Really lovely poem. I love the association of words & sweet talk with those gorgeous little birds.
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:iconmystichuntress:
mystichuntress Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you :) Yeah, I tried for bird imagery throughout~
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:iconcait-cait93:
Cait-Cait93 Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
This is beautiful. I love the detail and expression of your words.
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:iconmystichuntress:
mystichuntress Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you :)
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:iconben96lim:
ben96lim Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2012
I like the pun lol
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:iconmystichuntress:
mystichuntress Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
hahaha yeah, I thought it was pretty neat too (not to pat myself on the back or anything)
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:iconallison731:
allison731 Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Very beautiful. :thumbsup:
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:iconmystichuntress:
mystichuntress Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you :squee:
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